install
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girlwithdeathmask:

Me: *ignores boy*
Boy: *posts picture lookin good*
Me: hey sorry I was asleep what’s up 😍

Posted 5 minutes ago.
Posted 22 minutes ago.

neoputa:

i have unlimited texting and i only text 3 people ever i think my phone company looks at my bill and just laughs

Posted 38 minutes ago.
valvesoftware:

im lauhing so fucking hard

valvesoftware:

im lauhing so fucking hard

Posted 54 minutes ago.
+ bewbin:

"the weather seems ruff today doesnt it Spot haha?""dont patronize me Greg"

bewbin:

"the weather seems ruff today doesnt it Spot haha?"
"dont patronize me Greg"

Posted 1 hour ago.

comedycentral:

Click here to watch Stephen Colbert celebrate Women’s History Month.

Posted 1 hour ago.

dry-cereal:

dry-cereal:

dry-cereal:

once i was sick so i got a prescription for codeine cough syrup and when i went to pick it up the pharmacist was like “you really won’t need all of this” and i was like “it’s ok i could just sell it at school” and he was like “YEAAAAAAAH FUTURE PHARMACIST” and fist bumped me

ok apparently this pharmacist is my brother’s old pot dealer

his name is scooter

Posted 1 hour ago.

apuarius:

Today my dad told me he was hungry and I looked at him and said “hey hungry I’m daughter” and he was kinda shocked

Posted 1 hour ago.

seaking:

instead of desexualizing womens halloween costumes we should sexualize mens costumes and make it equal. i want boys in underwear and cat ears

Posted 2 hours ago.
+ akingsword:

*logs out of twitter for 52 years* 

akingsword:

*logs out of twitter for 52 years* 

Posted 2 hours ago. Tagged with Show all posts tagged with "tweet".tweet, .
real nigga horror movie

yungkawaiiinigga:

*wife and I move into our new house* 

bae: wow :) it’s even bigger than I thought lets unpack our things.

*unpacks a creepy ass doll* 

bae: wow, how’d this get in here I haven’t seen this since my childhood..I swore we threw it away years ago? oh well..*she tries to put that obvious demon shit up on the dresser in our room*

me:

image

Posted 2 hours ago.

poisonnoak:

bombing:

strwberry97:

bombing:

for someone who’s 70% water you don’t look very refreshing

BURNNNN

water cannot be burned

EVAPORATEEE

Posted 2 hours ago.

yoncevevo:

*listens to Ariana Grande once*
image

Posted 2 hours ago.

booglemoth:

vissible-cracks:

zachsgay:

i need to be like 12x hotter than i am now

0x12=0

image

Posted 2 hours ago.
+ sluttymistletoe:

cringing:

is no one going to talk about how miranda has been replaced with a random middle aged woman

if you knew anything about lizzie mcguire you would know that miranda is livin it up in Mexico City while Lizzie has an awesome adventure with Paolo and Isabella, while trying to avoid the evil wrath of Ms Ungermeyer, who is definitely not some “random middle aged woman”
thanks

sluttymistletoe:

cringing:

is no one going to talk about how miranda has been replaced with a random middle aged woman

if you knew anything about lizzie mcguire you would know that miranda is livin it up in Mexico City while Lizzie has an awesome adventure with Paolo and Isabella, while trying to avoid the evil wrath of Ms Ungermeyer, who is definitely not some “random middle aged woman”

thanks

Posted 3 hours ago.